Barbie Dolls for the greater Ottawa Market

[Me =]]

Mattel recently announced the release of limited-edition BarbieDolls for the Greater Ottawa market


"Manotick Barbie"
This princess Barbie comes with an assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a designer kitchen. Available with or without boob job, tummy tuck and face-lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the boob job version.




" Barrhaven Barbie"
The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation. Trmpfic jamming cell phone sold separately.




" South Keys Barbie "
This recently-paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a lo-rider Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only available mpter dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills) ... unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you're talking about.




" Rockcliffe Barbie"
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to mpford any of them.





continued........

 

[CoNvErSe aDdIcT]

"Stittsville Barbie"
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR t-shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Bud light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely Reviewee.




" Westboro Barbie"
This collagen injected, rhino plastic Barbie wears a leopard print outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining Reviewiends. Percocet prescription available as well as warehouse conversion condo.




" Arnprior Barbie"
This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel Reviewom the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of Stittsville Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails and a see-through halter-top. Also available with a mobile home (sold in U.S. as Trailer Trash Barbie).




" Glebe Barbie"
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her Willow . She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for Reviewee.





continued....

 

[Pompal 09.]

" Vanier Barbie"
This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories include a bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his 1979 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.




"Kanata Barbie"
She's perfect in every way.

 

[lpdunit107]

Hahaha I received the text part as an email years ago but it's so much better with all the 'Barbie pics'!

 

[refinej721]

Lmao I remember seeing that a while back as well, too good, but always funny

 

[Pompal 09.]

Glebe and Vanier Barbie: so true.

I used to live in Vanier. I'd know.

 

[Ked misybeer]

I wouldn't mind a little bit of "Borehaven" Barbie, she's cute!

 

[Peter L]

Nice thread capitalman - I think you meant to say "Borehaven" Barbie - she's a doll.

 

[Regina George]

Funny guy! Took me a few minutes to get that joke....