Feel a bit apprehensive

Fillet-O-Fish

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This evening I am going to give a voluntary treatment to my daughter in laws aunt as she is very near the end with cancer.

I have given treatments to dying loved ones before and so glad that I gave them some comfort and love through reflexology

May sound silly but should I wear my uniform, do I ask the lady dying to sign forms or a relative ?....I really feel stupid and dont know what to do, I truly want her to have a peaceful experience
I have met her a few times at family do's and we got on well and she is really looking forward to seeing me
I dont feel its a biz thing bit want her to feel safe in proffsional hands so what do you think?

Many thanks
Orchid xx
 
Hi Orchid

Firstly my thoughts are with you and your family during this difficult time with your daughter-in-law's aunt.

Also these are very valid questions and ones that I'm sure many have had to face.

You have a great advantage with treating this aunt as she knows you already and she has great trust in you to help her at this time - she knows you're professional and that she's in safe hands. The fact you're asking these questions shows the high level of your professionalism.

In my experience, in regards of signing the form, if she's too weak to do so you could ask a relative to sign. Is the information on the form all relevant to this situation? What does the form say? If the relatives are happier that something is signed then you could ask them to do so.

If this lady is at the very end of her life and you're there to give comfort, I truly believe the last thing that will be on her mind is if you're wearing your tunic or not. Go with your gut instinct with this as it's something that's going to make you feel more comfortable with the situation rather than her - she just wants you and your reflexology.

I hope this has helped and whatever you decide, what you're giving this lady will make her feel very special and this will also have a great effect on all the family.

Best wishes
Jo
 
Dear Jo,
Thank you so much for your kind and wise reply.
My daughter in law rang me and said her aunt was telling all her visitors about her friend coming to pamper her with reflexology tonight so am just going as a friend.
Just felt alone alone before and although happy and wanting to go ...dreading the sadness that will greet me.
Love Orchid xx
 
Pleasure Orchid, there's nothing worse that feeling no one's out there.

I think you've made the perfect decision and it's great to hear that she's so excited about your visit - it'll be a wonderful pampering and beneficial treatment.

I doubt tonight there will be much sadness to greet you as she's so looking forward to your visit. Enjoy your time you're giving something that's filled with positivity.

Best wishes
Jo
 
Dear Jo,
Just wanted to let you know what a lovely night it was.
She was so happy to see me and chatted non stop she was very light hearted and we had some laughs, she was able to talk about her death and it was all ok, she made it easy for me to listen. Im going to visit her again this week.
Thanks for your help earlier, it meant alot
Love Orchid x
 
Hi Orchid
What great news. So pleased it went well. It's amazing how much strength we find in each other. I'm sure she found talking about her death to someone outside the family a great comfort too - you're helping her on so many levels. Enjoy the next treatments too.
Take care
Jo
 
Agree with above - well done you! I spent seven months working at a Hospice, I had to do research there for my dissertation too and talk to patients about their lives, their illness and death etc, I was really apprehensive but it was such a great learning experience, alll the patients were happy to talk once they got used to me being around.

Death can be really horrible, painful and slow... but sometimes, death can be a beautiful part of life too. To me, the difference between these is often related to how willing we are to listen respectfully to what the person who is dying really wants.
 
I also worked in a hospice for several years and could see how much the patients enjoyed having their complementary therapy treatments. It was something for them to really look forward to and it helped to alleviate symptoms such as nausea and pain.

It was a privilege to be able to do this work; not many spoke about death and dying and surprisingly for me there were no tears, no sadness just a loving acceptance and a gentleness of energy and a knowing that they were being supported lovingly by the staff, counsellors, and therapists.

Luv Binah
x
 
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