Review - Kaylee at Carries VIP Body Care

[i love bluberry muffins]

So the little head was left to think on his own tonight, and he thought we should go TOFTT. Okay, sounds good to me. I spent some time reviewing massageplanet, and decided to see what Pamper Yourself might offer tonight. Called there and got no answer, but the answering machine said they are open until 9:00 on Sundays. Got there at 8:25, and sign is turned off. Hmmm. That's not good. Okay so without a Blackberry to further investigate options, what's a horny young man to do? Return to the scene of past crimes, that's what.

Drove past Xscape on 16th, and the parking lot was VERY crowded. Although expensive, I've had good experiences in the past here. (See previous posts here.) Didn't like the feel of the crowded parking lot, so decided to try something else.

So I went to Carrie's VIP Body Care in the Northeast (2016 - 25 Ave NE). I had been there several years ago, and had a decent experience, and they are still in business after all, so how far wrong could I go? Yeah, well don't get ahead of me here!!

Climbed the stairs and was met by a blonde lady by the name of Kaylee. She showed me to a room and informed me that 1/2 hour would be $30 door fee. Paid it, and very quickly took the offered shower. There's a huge clock in the room, so I know for a fact that I climbed onto the table at 9:10pm (post shower). I happened to misplace six greens on the counter, and upon her return to the room at 9:12pm, and implementing the "finders keepers" rule, Kaylee offered up a NHJ to celebrate her lucky windfall. Appeared she had a nice chest that had the little guy interested, so I agreed that was a fair reward.

Now I would estimate that Kaylee is easily 35 years old, if not 40+. Her plastic surgeon did a nice job on her chest, and the rest of her body certainly has its curves, but isn't bad at all. I wouldn't say pretty, but certainly not ugly either. My estimates of stats would be 5'6", 140 - 150 lbs, c-cup. Kind of the middle aged school secretary look. With a bit of effort on her part, she could be a real head-turner. Sadly, it doesn't appear she put on that effort today.

Speaking objectively, I'd say she definitely looks better out of her clothes than in them. She was friendly enough and things were off to a reasonably good start. After that point, I won't say I was disappointed, but I wasn't overwhelmed or totally satisfied either.

The mirror in the room was positioned so that I could see her as she massaged my back, and legs. Nice show, and I liked the view. As she went through the massage, I got the Siskel and Ebert on the last 3 movies she had seen, and the synopsis of The Dark Knight which she hoped to see once she was done with me, tonight. Okay, well not that I'm not a movie fan, but when we're both naked and your hands are on my ass, I'm not really interested in what you thought of the Jet Li movie you just rented. However, I wasn't exactly the sparkling conversationalist either, so I'll take part of the blame.

As far as the massage went, she had a decent technique, but didn't seem to take the hint when I said "That feels good" or "you found the spot". She just kept on moving to the next location. It was sort of 60 to 90 seconds each as follows:
- right shoulder
- left shoulder
- left calf
- left thigh (no contact with the twins)
- right calf
- right thigh (no contact with the twins)

At that point she tells me to flip over. Okay, according to the clock, it's now 9:18. I paid for 1/2 an hour so let's see if we can't prolong this a bit. I ask how much more for a bodyslide. Response: "I don't do body slides".

OK, well surely there will be a bit more massage before we finish things off, right? Uhh, no . . . wrong again. Warm oil on Junior and the twins and her hand starts it's work. Now it was indeed a very nice technique, and I've always loved that initial contact with the hot oil, but I really had hoped to get some anticipation and duration into the mix. Apparently, we were NOT of the same mind on that front. Clearly, she just wanted to finish up and go to the movies, as there was no slowing down, teasing, or moderation, especially once she found the wrist action that made me gasp like a wide-eyed school boy. Done. Finito. Blood is now returning to my logic centres from southern locales.

Next thing I know, she has now handed me the warm towel, and is half dressed before I even catch my breath. She's out of the room before I'm sitting up. Clock says 9:23.

I'm back in my car at 9:28, and not feeling like the satisfied customer that I wanted to be.

Hmmm. Now in the past, I have actually walked out of an MP with a smile on my face, a spring in my step, and a feeling that I just had a really great experience. Today was not one of those times. Today I had a 10 minute (+/-) massage that left me wanting more, followed by a handjob that made me feel like a dirty old man rather than a pampered client. I felt like I could have "done the job" myself with a copy of Penthouse Letters and a bottle of baby oil.

Looks: 7.0/10 - nice enough, but not OMG!
Attitude: 5.5/10 - it was mechanical, and clinical for lack of a better word.
Service: 6.5/10 - Really good mechanics, but missing that erotic energy that I've had with other MP's.
Environment: 7.5/10 - Reasonably nice room, with a decent shower, and it looked like some recent upgrades (new floors, etc). Not smoky at all. They need to fix the handrail on the stairs, before someone with knees as bad as mine rips it the rest of the way out of the wall.

Total cash that fell out of my wallet - $.5

Would I repeat? Only if I'm really really really really horny, and can't find a copy of Penthouse Forum and a bottle of oil. Next time, I'll tell Junior to settle down and mind his own business for a few days, and I'll plan a session with Tess or Mia or Allie at PY per the recommendations on this board.

Keep those recommendations coming, as I hope to learn my lesson sooner rather than later.

H.

 

[Floss]

Great review Hoover. Make sure you get in to see Allie at PY or Coral at Mystic.

Stud.