Spa Chronicles: A Gentleman’s Guide to Wellness and... Er... Relaxation
Episode 1: The Southern Temptress at BSE Spa
Right, chaps, let me take you through a little adventure at BSE Spa. I wandered in, as one does, ready for an afternoon of what we’ll call “self-care.” The lineup was impressive, but my eye landed on a tall, dusky South Indian beauty with curves that could make a roundabout jealous.
Once the pleasantries were out of the way, we agreed on a modest sum of 3.5k for the full Monty: all clothes off and a bit of mouth-to-mouth action, if you know what I mean (and I'm sure you do). The next thirty minutes felt like being in a Bollywood romance, except without the singing and more of... well, everything else.
She was particularly enthusiastic, which is always a bonus. Apparently, my impeccable hygiene was quite the aphrodisiac, because we were off to the races quicker than you can say “lip lock.” And what lips they were—there was enough kissing to make a Victorian faint. Not to mention, she had a fabulous set of assets. Naturally, I indulged like I was at an all-you-can-eat buffet.
No FS this time—unfortunate, really, as I wasn’t equipped with the right “safety gear.” However, we explored nearly all other available avenues. She even came twice. Twice! Talk about being thorough. And the 69? Well, let’s just say I wasn’t looking at my watch. Eventually, she finished me off with all the professionalism of a seasoned craftsman. All in all, a thoroughly satisfying rendezvous.
Episode 2: The Return to ViVA Spa – A Bit of Musical Chairs
Now, onto ViVA Spa. I’m practically a regular at this point. Why? Consistency, my dear friends. Always a solid line-up, though this time, things took an unexpected turn.
I picked a curvy lass who looked like she could give a good bit of, ahem, 'lip service'. But lo and behold, once we were alone, she decided to play hard to get. No BBJ, just a few half-hearted pecks like we were distant relatives. I politely requested a refund on my enthusiasm and asked for a swap.
In came a familiar face—an old flame from the pre-pandemic days. Ah, yes, good times, but I wasn't feeling nostalgic. She’s now managing the front desk, which I suppose is career progression in this line of work. Anyway, she promised to find me a “proper” replacement and true to her word, in sauntered my second choice. A dusky beauty who, mercifully, knew what she was doing.
She wasted no time getting down to business. Now, let’s be honest, the kissing wasn’t exactly fireworks—it was more like a damp sparkler on Bonfire Night. The BBBJ, however, was decent enough to keep things interesting. What saved the day, though, was the bit where we stood in front of the mirror, indulging in all sorts of activities you wouldn’t want your mother to know about. There’s something rather thrilling about watching oneself in a dimly lit room while one’s partner pushes back with a bit of enthusiasm.
The grand finale? A polite request for her to finish me off. It was a job well done, though nothing that’ll win awards. A decent experience overall, but not quite the magnum opus I was hoping for.
So there you have it, gentlemen. Two spa visits, both with their moments of bliss, and more than a few lessons learned along the way. Until next time, keep your spirits high and your wallet ready for another day of, shall we say, ‘rejuvenation’
Cheers!
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